logan bear

We met with my OB again today. We’re on biweekly visits now. We have scheduled my C-Section for March 3rd. We wanted to avoid 37 weeks, because that was the week of my birthday. 39 weeks is the week of our wedding anniversary. So 38 weeks was the verdict.

We are in talks with a photographer, we originally thought was free, but as it turns out, for what we are wanting, it is not. Which is fine, we are willing to pay whatever to have these memories documented with Logan. These photos/videos will be priceless. It’ll be something I can turn to time and again to remember my sweet boy.

Logan is growing normally. He is expected to be a normal sized baby at birth. Seems so cruel to me, to have a baby growing so healthy, just to die at birth. With so little chance at life.

We invite anyone who would like to come to the hospital to come. The Dr told us today, that for the first 2 hours, it’ll just be us. Which is okay, we still plan on Josh, me and Logan having private time. And then having Wyatt join us. And we will take it from there.

We are uncertain at this time if we will have a funeral. We plan on cremating Logan so that he can remain at home with us. But part of me feels as if I don’t have a funeral, I’m not giving him a proper goodbye or getting that final piece of closure. I plan on contacting the funeral home sometime soon to see what our options are and what the cost is. So we will try and keep you informed of that.

We were introduced to a Clinic in town that provides Palliative care. They are completely faith based and free. They provide sonograms as often as you want at no cost just to see your baby. While there, they recorded Logan’s heartbeat, put it inside a teddy bear, let Wyatt pick out the ribbon and we took him home. We call him our Logan bear. The entire way to school that morning he kept playing Logan’s heartbeat and saying “I love you” and “You’re mine.” Last night I heard him sitting at the table with Logan bear and repeatedly listening to his heartbeat. This morning he told me Logan bear was his, and I told him it was for all of us, and he said “yeah, cause he’s ours.”

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